Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
