And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
