very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
