He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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