question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
be right there i have to get my cape
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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