Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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