shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
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Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
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How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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