I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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