hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
