hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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