Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Reggie can tackle my bush.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
