Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
