; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
