Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
