After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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