Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Two words: blizzard sex
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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