how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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