Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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