I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
