what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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