help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
