Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
