My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
