Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
