I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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