So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
