Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
