we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
