everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
