i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
