Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
