hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
