I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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