Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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