Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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