It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
