He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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