just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize