He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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