I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
