I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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