you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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