Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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