I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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