Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
