He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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