Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
