Christians are straight up FREAKS
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
