Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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