I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
