ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
