Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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