google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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