i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
where am i from again
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
