apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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