I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Did I show you my penis last night?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
