I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
