Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
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Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
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You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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