So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Life is so much better after having sex.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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